wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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