Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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