i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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