The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
