Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
