i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize