No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
