last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
