K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
