please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
