He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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