When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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