Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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