xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
