Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
we're so committed to being not committed
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
