Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize