I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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