He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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