Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
