dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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