Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
