i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
