watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
