Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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