i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
