who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
