Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
