I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
