I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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