I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Randomize