it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
50% drunk capacity currently
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
