My brain says no but my pants say off.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
