I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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