did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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