people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm at about main and main street
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
