I wanna passion pit in your ass
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
