the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize