i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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