I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
