So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
