I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
