Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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