awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
