I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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