? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize