This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
