I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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