when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
