it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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