In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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