Walk of Shame. In a state park.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize