Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize