I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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