I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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