Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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