I'm lost and stupid without you.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
