It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I don't deserve a penis
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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