it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
