it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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