she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
