you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize