This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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