Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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