I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
