I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize