I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
