Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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