You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
