that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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