I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
