everyone is single if you try hard enough
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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