Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
