Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
