I think my vagina is haunted
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
