What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
