No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
