He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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